Stuck But Still Standing (Mostly)

The climb before the coffee.

Every day starts the same. I stare at that flight of stairs like it’s plotting my demise. Going down feels like danger. Going up feels like punishment. My building wasn’t designed for a person with MS it’s an obstacle course with rent.

I keep telling myself, “You need a new place.” Something accessible. Something safe. But until that happens, I keep showing up for battle, one shaky step at a time.

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Family, Fatigue, and Frustration

My family’s been patient. Mostly. I can’t blame them when that patience wears thin. Living with someone who forgets mid-sentence, mumbles, and moves like an old laptop trying to open too many tabs….. it’s a lot.

I’m not easy to deal with lately. I’m tired before the day even begins. Every task takes extra time. Every plan depends on whether my body decides to cooperate. It’s hard for them. It’s harder for me.

Still, I find reasons to laugh. Sometimes at my own expense. Humor doesn’t fix MS, but it keeps the heaviness from swallowing me whole.

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The Medicine Cabinet of Hope

Every appointment feels like a new adventure one more magic pill, one more promise.

So far, the real therapy is a mix of THC and Prozac. And no, I don’t use THC to “escape.” I use it to trick my brain into believing my body’s fine.

It works. Sometimes too well.

The other night, I walked to the kitchen, made myself a drink, and froze.

“Where’s my cane?”

I left it in the living room. I walked here without it. For a second, I forgot I had MS. That small victory was worth every weird look I’ll get at the next neurologist visit

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The Commute of What-Ifs

Leaving the house turns every trip into a checklist of fears.

What if I fall and hit my head?

What if I lose control of my bladder at work?

What if my body decides it’s done halfway through the day?

Every “normal” routine feels like tightrope walking above chaos. But still ….I go. Because staying home forever isn’t living either.

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The Silent Work of Surviving

People who don’t live with chronic illness think “getting through the day” sounds easy.

It’s not.

It’s work.

Every step, every errand, every smile is powered by willpower and meds.

We don’t wake up brave. We wake up tired and keep going anyway.

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Still Showing Up!

I show up limping, laughing, medicated, overthinking, and alive.

MS can knock me down, but it can’t shut me up.

Surviving chronic illness isn’t heroic. It’s a daily negotiation with your body, your patience, and your hope.

But even stuck, I’m still standing.

Well, most of the time.

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Eternal Reflection

Living with MS means learning to laugh in between the cracks. To celebrate the tiny moments—like walking without realizing it, or making it through the day without collapsing. The truth is, you don’t need to “beat” MS to live. You just need to keep showing up with whatever strength you’ve got left.

Some days that means climbing stairs like a gladiator. Other days it means sitting Instil and calling that progress. Either way, I’m here. Breathing, fighting, and yes I’m still laughing. Because until the cure shows up, humor will do just for fine. I love you and I hope you love me too!